since like alot of people have been sharing their testimonies of how they came to Christ
ever since Bro Wai told us to write out our own testimony.
thennnn...
I shall share mine too!
=DDD



I did managed to write it ard 500 words.
But I shall just elaborate here...
hahaha...
and it's your choice whether you want to read the longer version or not!
=)
hehe.






I was very against Christianity in the past, if anyone tells me anything related to Christianity, even before they can say anything about it, I would have just say a straight NO in their face. I would rebuke them and showed no interest in listening.



Secondary 3 was a very difficult year for me, I faced a lot of rejections and failures. Everything I do just never seem right. Every time I pull myself up, I only fall back flat on my face again. And everytime, all the problems just points to tell me of my incapability, that I'm a failure. I always get in trouble with teachers. I was notorious for sleeping in class, it was so bad then that I got sent out of class by the teacher twice. Was labelled as someone who always sleeps in class, even people I don't know, know me for that sleeping problem. I have received rather sarcastic remarks and even though I'm trying, no one seems to recognise that effort. I am also a frequent late-comer. And coming school late is a big thing cause they take punctuality very seriously. Being late 3 times and you'll have to talk to the VP or Principal. I was sent to detention for being late for too many times and the tcher just kind of scold you and tell you the consequences till I think I almost cried.



I love Band practices like ALOT! However, that year was the worst for me because of SYF. I learnt all the 3 parts for trumpet because they kept switching me around. I was told I was needed in Trumpet 1 (which being the most difficult part), and after working very hard and finally able to play, they told me I wasn't needed anymore, and actually I wasn't needed in the first place either. I couldn't go back to Trumpet 2 because positions were filled and had to learn Trumpet 3, which brings me back all the way to square one. I just felt pushed around, very unappreciated and not recognised for all my effort, which was very upsetting.



There were friendship problems. I also felt very isolated and left-out in class. Alot of times I felt inferior to them and sometimes intimidated too. And I had issues with my table partner. I really cannot stand her at all. I only have a close friend in class and it's because both of us felt left out that we always stick together. But when she is sick and didn't come school, I almost went about school the whole day not talking or walking with anyone.



It was also that year when Lily tried to reach out to our clique. I think I had been quite nasty to her then and perhaps rejected her many times too! She tried to tell us about Jesus, till a point whereby all of us got so irritated that we ostracized her.



The thing was, I always felt no one understands me and I always hated to share my problems. Most of the time I kept things to myself, never tell my parents or even close friends. Whenever I’m feeling down, before reaching home, I would force myself to smile as if nothing happen, so no one can ask me to tell them about it. Maybe because I always kept everything inside, it always exploded. My moodswings were very extreme and crazy, but it usually happens late at night whn I'm left alone to think too much. I was quite obsessed with the idea that I was wearing a mask with a smiling face but only to reveal a teary one behind. Basically I was very emo!



Thinking back now, through all these, I believe God has always been working in me and slowly drawing me closer to Him. I felt that I was slowly changing to start accepting this God.



I was invited to a Magic Show, which was actually an evangelical event by a church. I didn’t know about that, and since it’s seemed fun I just went. But at the end, the pastor shared about God and at that moment I felt touched and cried. I cannot remember what he said but it was speaking right to my heart, all the answers I needed and was searching for. I accepted God that night.



I became more receptive to Lily as she shared about God with us and eventually came to her church and received the Holy Spirit there.



Although Secondary 4 is O level year, but it was a complete 360 degrees change from Secondary 3. Everything that was wrong turned around. For once, I can say I was genuinely happy and found joy in God. God was someone that understands me, even more than myself! Band was the most AWESOMEST year EVER EVER EVER!!!! It's the year whereby we finally got a GOLD for Singapore First National Band Competition, after 6 years of silver in syf! HURRAY HURRAH. I patched up with my table partner and has been good friends with her since. I have someone that I can pour everything out to, someone that would listen quietly to all that I would have to say. And that's God! Someone who will always be there, holding my hand, carrying me whenever I need Him. =DDDD I could also connect better with my classmates and spend most of the time ka-jiaoing and disturbing people. =D (which i derive alot of fun out of. hehe)



I don’t believe in coincidences, because coincedences are merely moments when God chose to remain anonymous! If all that I went through in Secondary 3 was what brought me to know God, I’m willing to go through it again if time should rewind. Because, all that I have experienced with God so far is worth more than anything that I would not trade for anything else. I'm not a failure! God does not produce failures! He has a destiny and a plan for me! I've found my purpose and identiy in Him. This love that I have experienced from God is more than just real. It’s overwhelming!!!