It's very late now, yet I'm still awake, writing my entry.... I really have no sense of self-discipline.... If I have more time, perhaps there would be 2 entries today... But I decided not to write the other entry I intended.... They are just some of my personal thoughts, can be quite insulting? I don't know.... Anyway, let me get to the point.... I'm now a official 1st trumpeter.... Is it something worth celebrating? Or am I going to die of heart attack at the next practice? I was so taken aback, I had nothing much to say.... I was in a state of shock.... I was so shocked that I had the same feeling as before, a mass of thoughts running wild and crazy in me.... They are so messed up, I could not single them out at all! It's not a nice feeling.... Or perhaps, I was getting too paranoid? Perhaps, sir would just switch us back??? Whether or not it happens, I just hope I play better.... I could play A today and hold in for a while... But after tuning... When we play Chicago, I already can't hit G.... This proves how bad my stamina is.... I think I will not be able to hold on throught Chicago.... What about the 4-5 pieces we will be playing for the concert? I need a lot of practice.... I need a hug.... I was hugging my trumpet so tightly.... (When I was going home) Nothing much was going through in my mind, just that I am going to go mad.... I was like a balloon that was very ready to burst if there is going to have any other slight accident.... I would burst, explode!!! Gosh! I guess there are too much stuffs, thoughts trapped in me..... Just like a balloon, unable to withstand the pressure any longer.... But I'm different, I not feeling pressured, just shocked! This is the scariest practice I've been... Okay, I'm exaggerating.... It is not the scariest but the most unbearable one.... Not that I dread it.... But is like.... I don't know how to put my feelings into words.... The seat is so sucky.... I am like a door guard? Okay, not to that extreme.... But I am sitting near the entrance whereby people enters and exits??? It's no difference from being a guard??? The scenery sucks as well.... I can't get much good view.... I still prefer the other side of the band room... I guess I just need some time to adjust to sudden arrangements.... It's too sudden... I really have to idea how to handle.... Yun Huey, don't get too upset??? Let's embrace together since you wanted a hug as well? But I on the other hand is getting too worked up instead of sad.... Sir would probably changed back soon??? You would regain your position soon. I know how you feel.... I actually was playing the 2nd trumpet for Disney and within a minute I was suddenly told to play 4th cause no one else was.... I hate low notes just as you do.... But I can't play too high unlike you.... You have the talent, which definitely would not go to waste! ^^