hmmm....

ok, like few days nvr blog...
and i was like complaining life is so boring
at my last entry...

and guess what....
i got soooo "exciting"
yaaaa..... (it's true u noe)
(i sound so sarcastic.... nvm)

aniwae...
the holland conductor came...
shift the way we sit...
now i sitting at the trombone there...
and erm... i dun like
*too short
*blehx

nvm... then i realise sir is onli
gonna take 2 ppl from 1st trumpet...
and which is the ppl playing
the duet....
i was like.... *depressed
ya.... as in my role is so insignificant la...
like i dun exist oso nvm....
*it's ok... forget it...

ijuzupsetyiwasputin1stthefirstplace
whenheisonlicompulsorytakingtheduetppl?
ipracsohard.... fornothing???
islikeifeelmyeffortswereerm...unappreciated?
iduno...hecan'tbeputtoblameinoe...
wasn'trealliblaminghim....was
*questioning
*doubting
*confused
*blur
*dununderstand
mylonghoursofpractisesareallatimeofwastenow...
*toreflect
it'snotreallitrue...
thoughwasupsetattimeswhilehafingpractoo
*pissed?
butistillmadeprogressplaying1st?
icantouguenow(howironic...)
icanslurthesoloup
icanhitmyAs
icanflutterhighG

ihaftopracsohardtogetallthesekae...
wheniwasin2ndicanplaynthofthese...
intheendiwasn'tevenrecognisedorwhteva...
*nvm

ya...sectionals...
*gettingmoreandmoreupset
then haf the "audition"
wif our seniors ya....
then erm....
*couldn't bear the tears wellin inside...
*finalli cried....

Seniors:
sorry i din ans ani of ur qns....
i can't tok when i cry....
erm... i dun like to tok when i cry too....
i will just cry even more badly...
ya, sorri i made u all cry too....
*tat wasn't suppose to happen

erm...
yesh i wanna go syf
ya i realli realli dun mind tat....
i hope i din sound very unconvincing
to u tat day la...
and ya i'm betta le =)

i tink alot of ppl broke down tat day...
erm almost whole sect cried...
peiting they all oso cried ya...
very sad...
*i hope i dun remind u of ani sad stuff
and u cry again horx....







today....
well a maths test....
i'm going to fail kaex....
and u noe wht...
*i'm cheering and celebrating...
*i'm overjoyed
*i couldn't be bothered kae
(i meant literally)
no i dun haf attitude prob
juz tat is realli i dun understand lesson
i dun even see the point of listening...
i shall do self-study for all my chap
and u shall see how "well" i
gonna score kae....
*congratulate mi ya....


evening, went to singapore conference hall
prac...
ehh...
think todae trumpet section very hyper...
erm.... ya... couldn't stop luffing
in the bus...
*lolx...
*was toking abt my flasher expr
*serious... i've seen one b4....
i was so scared then...
it seems so hilarious to mi now....
hahaha!!! (i'm realli realli luffing....)

lolx...
Zhijie say i'm impure...
*whteva...
i'm victim la

then saw michael chia and johnny toh
at Geylang...
lolx...
think they go there eat one la...
yummy food all ard there de....

had funn todae la...
after suffering from break down? ytd....
erm....
yaa... think tat's all
the "exciting" stuff tat happened....


ihavefoundwhatiaspiretobe
andigonnapursuethatdream
andnothingisgonnastopmefromdoingso
thefightingspiritinmiwillconttoburn
andaniobstaclewouldonlibeanevent
teachingmisthnew,teachingmetobebetta
andifiamnot
icanonliconclude
ihafnotworksmartorhardenuff...




"I kept everything inside
and even though I tried
it all fell apart
What it meant to me
will eventually be a memory
of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter"